Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
my uncle always told me, "kid, you're gonna go far"
and my mom always said, "baby, reach for the stars"
but somewhere along the lines
i woke up and life slapped me in the face
it was one of those slaps that turns your cheek red
and makes it swell a little

everyone has passion at one point
that's why all children have big dreams
big like fire trucks and airplanes
but there comes a point in life when you realize you
no longer possess that motivation
settling for mediocre becomes a way of living
where does that fine line get crossed between childhood and adulthood?
most of the time you don't even realize it's been crossed
until you reach the other side and look back

they say the show must go on
but does it ever really go on?
who knows, maybe it does and maybe it doesn't
all i know is that i must press on this time
this one time
because putting one foot in front of the other brings me closer
to my goal,
and to lose sight of that would put me on the other side
of that line i never want to cross
I hope this is something everyone can relate to at some point in their lives. It's hard to not give up, especially when everything goes wrong. Sometimes you don't even realize you're giving up until after you've long given up. I was inspired to write this after reading a journal entry by a fellow writer here on dA. If you haven't seen :iconroyalocean: then you should check out his gallery. This [link] is the journal entry that inspired me.

Alternative title for this piece: "Reconnect"

(C) A.greenlaw 2011
Critique by UnPrEdIcTaBLEme17 Jan 12, 2013, 8:21:16 PM
This is very nice and honest.
Your vision was lovely but a little overused. I liked the way you worded it (haven't seen that much) so I didn't take off very much and gave you 4 stars.
Once again this is an interesting topic and you brought it out well but it is used often.
Your technique for this was great but the rhyming at awkward points was strange. I think you do better when you don't rhyme. But this was VERY meaningful, so i gave it 4.5.
The impact upon me was worth 5 stars. This is lovely put and just, out there. It stands out and I will hold these words forever in my heart for when I most need them.
Great job and keep it up!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
3 out of 3 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

saykha Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2011  Student Writer
This is exactly where I am at right now
fotomademoiselle Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
*Nods* It's so easy to get're there before you even know it.
Add a Comment:

:iconfotomademoiselle: More from fotomademoiselle

More from DeviantArt


Submitted on
October 10, 2011
File Size
1.2 KB


4 (who?)