Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
The chaise lounge was upholstered with a chenille African-looking fabric.  There were different shades of brown in it along with some olive green; there were random elephants on the print.  When I was younger I would lay on that sofa for long periods of time, naming each of the elephants.  I especially loved doing that on rainy days, because I loved watching and listening to the rain outside the window that was next to the sofa.  But now I was seventeen, and far too old to be naming elephants on our chaise lounge.

It was a rainy day and I had been watching them argue through the window.  It wasn't much of a surprise these days; they argued over everything, from what we should eat for dinner to where we should vacation.  The littlest things seemed to set them off.  Sometimes it seemed like a game they played, seeing who could upset the other first.

I looked out the window from the elephant lounge; they were standing in the pouring rain, soaking wet of course, arguing over God knows what.  They had gone together into town to pick up a pizza for dinner.  I seemed to be the only intelligent one in our house, because I knew right from the start that this pizza trip was just asking for trouble.  They argued for several minutes over what kind of pizza to get.  This wasn't the first time we had ordered pizza for dinner.  I mean, come on, everyone eats pizza.  So why did they have to argue over goddamn pizza toppings every single time?  Seriously.

My stomach growled and I rubbed it as if I was comforting a child.  I got up and walked over to the front door.  Sticking my head outside I yelled, "Can you bring your argument inside so at least I can start eating?  I'm starving."  They both shut their mouths and turned their heads to look at me for a moment.  Without anymore words they carried the pizza inside.

So meet my family- dad, mom, and Lucy (my goldfish, because mom and dad couldn't agree on a dog).  Dad is the chief editor at our town's local newspaper.  The Springland Tribune had seen better days, and it was hard on my dad.  With the town's economy going through a rough patch, the tribune was quickly losing customers.  My mom was a realtor and, like my dad, frustrated over her lack of business.  Despite my mom's talents in sales work, prices of homes skyrocketed so no one was buying.  And Lucy?  Well she's nice, although I don't even know if "she" is really a she.  I really wanted a dog, but my parents stood in front of the pound's twenty-seven cages and argued over which dog to bring home.  So we brought home no dog and later that night I bought Lucy from Wal-Mart.

Sometimes I just wished that my parents would get a divorce.  Then maybe I wouldn't have to listen to them argue over pointless things for hours on end.  There had been many times when mom stayed overnight in a hotel and threatened to leave for good, but she always came back the next day.  There had also been many times when my dad came home from work long enough to grab some fresh clothes and then head over to his widowed mother's house to sleep on her couch.  It truly was pathetic.

We were eating our pepperoni-mushroom pizza in silence.  For some families it might have seemed awkward, but not at our dinner table.  After having a fight it was typical for my parents to not speak for a while.  It never seemed quite fair to me that I had to suffer the repercussions from their arguments, like sitting through dinner in silence.  I attempted to break the tension.  "Do you remember how I used to sit on the elephant lounge and name them all?" I smiled softly.

Dad looked at me and smiled, but it wasn't genuine; mom mumbled an "Mhm."  I sighed inwardly.  I grabbed my plate of pizza and stood up.  "Since you two aren't talkative, again, I'll be eating dinner alone in my room.  At least the silence there isn't tense."  My parents stared at me as I walked out of the kitchen, but they said nothing.  They knew I was right.

On a Saturday a couple of weeks later, I woke up around ten-thirty in the morning.  Usually I woke up way before then because I could hear my parents arguing.  I opened my bedroom door and stepped into the hallway even though I was only wearing underwear and a t-shirt.  "Dad?  Mom?"  I heard something that sounded like sniffles coming from the kitchen.

My mom was sitting at the kitchen table, head resting in her hands.  A mug of untouched black coffee sat beside her.  I put my hand on her shoulder and she looked up at me.  I could tell she'd been crying for a while because her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, her face red.  "Another fight?"  I asked, a little dryly.  I was used to waking up to similar situations before.

"This time is different," she said, choking a little on her sobs.  She motioned towards some papers on the counter.  I walked over and inspected them- divorce papers.  Emotions of married couples were something I have never been able to fathom.  All my parents did was fight, so why was she crying?  Maybe the reality had just hit her really hard.

It wasn't like anything I'd seen in the movies as I read the papers.  Tears didn't spring to my eyes and my stomach didn't "drop."  It was like I had almost expected this.  I gave my mother's back a quick comforting rub and a sympathetic look; then I returned to my room.  I had homework to do before Monday, and finally now I could complete it in a peaceful house.
So I wrote this for the writing prompt from #ScreamPrompts. ScreamPrompt #15: "I had been watching them through the window." It had to be between 500-1000 words; I'm at 998. :XD:

I was also inspired by "Leaving" ~ :iconmartinstranka: [link]
The way her head is leaning back reminded me of how I used to lay upside-down on our sofa. Her facial expression touched me...I'm not sure what message the artist intended to portray, but to me I saw a girl who was closing her eyes attempting to clear her mind of the world's negative surroundings. Anyways, she inspired my main character for this short story, so be sure to check out the picture. :)

And, lastly, for those of you who have divorced parents are still together and I'm quite thankful for that. Since I've never been through this I am sure there are lots of you who are reading this thinking, "Oh my god this is bullshit; did she pull this out of her ass?" Just try to be creative, ok? Everyone's story is different. This is just what came to mind when I read the prompt and saw that picture. :lol: However, any constructive criticism or comments are greatly appreciated! I'm not so pompous as to think that I cannot improve. ;)

(C) A.greenlaw 2011
Add a Comment:
Critique by UnPrEdIcTaBLEme17 Jan 12, 2013, 8:05:05 PM
This is a really interesting piece, it really leaves you wondering many, many things.
I like your vision but I have to question it a bit. because, who wouldn't be sad if their parents split. But then again there is the conflict of that making it so much more interesting. So I just gave you a little over the middle.
This is very original, I have never seen anything quite like it! But, once again, you have to wonder if there is a reason someone didn't write about this beforehand. Which is why I gave you a 4.5.
Your technique is a 2.5. You didn't quite need to know as much as you put in there (like Lucy and the lounge) but there were some areas you could have added more detail to (such as what happened during the week after the fight, like no talking.)
Your impact is, again, a 4.5 because it makes you stop and think. It makes you wonder what you'd feel. But again I think it is a little strange that the girl felt absolutely nothing.
Thank you for sharing this with us here at deviantart and well done.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
2 out of 2 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

TheSkaBoss Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Glad to see he finally got some peace. :)
fotomademoiselle Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
raspil Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2011   Writer
I think it's interesting that the child here is more aware than the parents; sometimes that comes across as a cliche but here, it's barely mentioned instead of having the child go on and on and pretend to have emotions they don't understand (which, if some stories here are based on real events, happens a lot) or can instantly cheer up the parents -- this was realistic and elegant.

I hope that made sense; I've been reading all night :yawn:
fotomademoiselle Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you so much for the feedback. It makes total sense, and I appreciate the positivity!! :butterfly:
raspil Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2011   Writer
no problem. :hug:
Add a Comment:

:iconfotomademoiselle: More from fotomademoiselle

Featured in Collections

Lovely Literature by Jsaren

ScreamPrompts Submissions by raspil

Writings by tokuyama

More from DeviantArt


Submitted on
May 18, 2011
File Size
5.5 KB


8 (who?)